I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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