Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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