The maid of honor just puked.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
