whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He felt like a one man threesome
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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