No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
