For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
