one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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