He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
