were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She told me I should be a condom model.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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