I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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