Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
