No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize