You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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