batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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