I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
