I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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