how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
