Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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