no. you can't hotbox the world.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
