oh god the rape fog is back!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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