I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
