You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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