I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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