The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize