THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
