That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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