Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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