2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
