Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
