but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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