yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
