Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
