My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize