i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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