Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
