so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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