My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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