Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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