thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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