I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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