dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They should really pass out barf bags in church
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
