it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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