eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I love you.
Bad choice
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