Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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