Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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