And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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