shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
