I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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