The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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