Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"it" just moved
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
