haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
