don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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