there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
