dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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