Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
