didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
