so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
