She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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