does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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