I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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