Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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